Marriage Confidential

The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules
By Pamela Haag

“In this timely and thought-provoking analysis of modern coupledom, Pamela Haag& paints a vivid tableau of the ‘semi-happy’ couple. Written with wit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against our marital complacency.”

~Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

Pamela Haag has written the generational “big book” on modern marriage, a mesmerizing, sometimes salacious look at the semi-happy ambivalence lurking just below the surface of many marriages today. The spouses may rarely fight—they may maintain a sincere affection for each other—but one or both may harbor a melancholy sense that something important is missing.

Remarkably, this side of the marriage story hasn’t been told or analyzed—until now.

Meticulously researched and injected with insightful firsthand accounts and welcome doses of humor, Marriage Confidential articulates for a generation that grew up believing they would “have it all” why they have ended up disenchanted. Haag introduces us to contemporary marriages where spouses act more like life partners than lovers; children occupy an uncontested position at the center of the marital relationship; and even the romantic staples of sexual fidelity and passion are assailed from all sides—so much so that spouses can end up having affairs online almost by accident.

Blending tales from the front lines of matrimony with cultural history, surveys, and research covert-ops (such as joining an online affair-finding site and posting a personal ad in the New York Review of Books), Haag paints a detailed picture of the state of marriage today. And to show what’s possible as well as what’s melancholy in our post-romantic age, Haag seeks out marriages with a twist—rebels who are quietly brainstorming and evolving the scripts around career, money, social life, child rearing, and sex.

Provocative but sympathetic, forward-thinking and bold, here, at last, is a manifesto for living large in marriage.

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Judge Brown Swearing-In Ceremony Set for Today

Hat tip: Ohio Supreme Court

The Honorable Eric Brown, Judge of the Franklin County Probate Court, will be sworn in on Monday as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Ohio at a public ceremony at 11:30 a.m. at the Ohio Statehouse.

The event will include the administration of the oath of office by Justice Paul E. Pfeifer and remarks by Judge Brown.

On April 14, Gov. Ted Strickland named Judge Brown to the vacancy on the Supreme Court following the late Chief Justice Thomas J. Moyer’s unexpected death on April 2.

What: Swearing-In Ceremony
When: 11:30 a.m., Monday, May 3, 2010
Where: Ohio Statehouse, North Hearing Room, Senate Annex

The ceremony will be broadcast live at www.sc.ohio.gov and on cable television via The Ohio Channel. Visit www.ohiochannel.org for channels and rebroadcast times.

Contact: Joe Smith at 614.387.9017.

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National Foster Care Month Celebrates Mother’s Day: Saluting the Women Who Parent Our Nation’s Most Vulnerable Youth

Washington D.C. — This Mother’s Day, the National Foster Care Month Partnership pays tribute to the legions of women who parent our nation’s most vulnerable youth, while sending out an urgent call for more individuals and families to step-up and help to change a lifetime for a child or youth in foster care. Following up on a week of activities in Washington, D.C. that kicked off National Foster Care Month, the Partnership highlights the need for more foster and adoptive parents throughout the nation.

Currently, there are only 137,000 licensed foster families in the United States, with nearly 500,000 children in foster care. For those fortunate enough to be living with a family, Mother’s Day is an opportunity to say “thank you” to the kind and compassionate women who lovingly parent them. However, for the thousands of children, teens and young adults who have no caring, committed mom in their lives, Mother’s Day is a cruel reminder of the painful void in their lives.

The most pressing need lies in recruiting families from all walks of life to foster, adopt, or mentor older youth. This year alone, 26,000 young people will age out of the child welfare system without a family or a caring adult who is committed to being a lasting presence in their lives. Too many of these young adults, facing life’s challenges alone, experience homelessness, poor or no education, incarceration, and addiction.

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Youth in Foster Care Need Extra Public Support in Recessionary Times

May is National Foster Care Month

Washington D.C. – Today there are nearly 500,000 children and youth in America’s foster care system. As the economy has worsened, reports of abuse and neglect have increased in some areas of the country and are expected to rise. Of the 26,000 young people who age out of foster care each year, many end up facing life’s challenges alone without the support and education they need to compete in the workplace. In this economy, they are more likely than ever to endure homelessness, poverty, compromised health, unemployment, incarceration and other adversities.

Each May, National Foster Care Month provides an opportunity to focus public attention on the plight and potential of children in foster care as well as teens aging out. The child welfare community is calling on every citizen to do something positive that will change a lifetime for a child or young adult in foster care — as foster parents, volunteers, mentors, employers or in other ways.

If nothing changes in the United States between now and the year 2020:

  • Nearly 11 million children confirmed cases of abuse and neglect will be reported;
  • 8,000 children will die of abuse or neglect;
  • 7.2 million children will experience the foster care system;
  • 240,000 youth will age out of foster care with inadequate support and resources to compete in the workforce and build successful lives.

Thousands of dedicated foster families, caring individuals and organizations already support young people in foster care. Thanks to these unsung heroes, many formerly neglected or abused children and teens will safely reunite with their parents, be cared for by relatives, be adopted by loving families and/or make a successful transition to independent living.

Communities are urgently seeking many more unsung heroes to come forward for our nation’s most vulnerable children so they may realize their full potential. Across the country, people just like you are:

  • Raising their voices to educate federal and state public policy leaders on the issues facing children and families.
  • Serving as foster parents, relative caregivers, mentors, advocates, social workers and volunteers.
  • Sponsoring scholarships enabling foster youth to go to college and trade school, as well as professional internships to prepare them for the workplace.
  • Encouraging their employees to volunteer their time as mentors, professional coaches, and role models for foster youth or young families with children in foster care.
  • Donating gift cards, school supplies, household gifts and other items to brighten a child’s life in foster care.
  • Contacting their Congressional leaders, asking that foster care and the future of these children be made a national priority.
  • Visiting www.fostercaremonth.org to find out more about the many ways to get involved and make a lasting difference for America’s children.

No matter how much time you have to give, you have the power to do something positive that will CHANGE A LIFETIME for a young person in foster care. Visit www.fostercaremonth.org for more information.

Resources for the public
Several national organizations provide advocacy and critical support for foster youth, including:

Casey Family Programs

Promoting advances in child-welfare practice and policy


Children’s Rights

National child welfare advocacy


Foster Care Alumni of America

Representing 12 million alumni of foster care


Foster Family-based Treatment Association

Treatment foster care providers


FosterClub

The national network of young people in foster care


National Association of Social Workers

Membership organization of professional social workers


National Foster Care Coalition

Collaboration to promote policy improvement and public awareness


National Foster Parent Association

Representing thousands of foster families nationwide


Orphan Foundation of America

Education, mentoring, and workforce development for youth aging out of foster care


Voices for America’s Children

Member organizations committed to advocacy on federal, state and local levels

For more information, contact: Doug Sprei of National Foster Care Month
(703) 581-2498 dsprei@orphan.org

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Parental Alienation Day, the holiday of heartbreak

By Teri Stoddard

Parental Alienation Day is one holiday that no one wants to celebrate. For many the name stirs a mild curiosity. For others, a searing pain that cuts through their very soul.

Mike Jeffries said it best on Basil & Spice when he wrote, “You won’t find an e-card that says, ‘Happy Parental Alienation Day.’ However if more people know why parents alienate a child from the child’s other parent, and how damaging these behaviors are to the child, then more people can help address the problem. Awareness and education are the first steps towards change.” See Parental alienation information and support.

How common is parental alienation? Four out of every 10 children whose parents don’t live together haven’t seen their fathers in over a year. See Why is there a fathers rights movement?.

Mothers are victims of parental alienation too. Which is why some are left scratching their heads when radical feminist domestic violence advocates and so-called “protective mother” groups film fake documentaries to convince legislators that parental alienation isn’t real.

What causes parental alienation? Many things can set parental alienation in motion. From a man taking the advice of his attorney to “go after her” with everything he has, to a woman taking the advice of friends to say she’s “scared of him.” See VAWA funds parental child abduction. Well-meaning but misinformed people can knock separating parents off-track.

National columnist Kathleen Parker, who is pro-family court reform and a friend to fathers recently won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Fathers & Families quote Parker: “The divorce system is counterintuitive and morally bankrupt, and needs reinventing” What the organized fathers’ groups want isn’t wrong or mean-spirited but right and fair to children. Who among us can blame a man, wrongfully denied his own child, for shouting out that he was framed?”

Equal parenting 101: What’s the best way to divorce with children?

Reprinted from examiner.com. with permission from author.
From our law office in Westerville, Ohio, Jesse R. Mann, Attorney at Law, provides comprehensive family law services to clients throughout Central Ohio, in Franklin County, Licking County, Delaware County, Knox County, Morrow County, and the communities of Columbus, Newark, Sunbury, Galena, Ashley, Delaware, Mt. Vernon, Centerburg, Worthington, New Albany, Radnor, Prospect, Lewis Center, Kilbourne, Galena, Mt. Gilead, Cardington, Marengo, Sparta, Ostrander, Shawnee Hills, and Powell. We provide legal services and legal advice for Divorce, Dissolution of Marriage, Child Custody, Child Visitation, Alimony, Child Support, Spousal Support, criminal defense.

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Divorce Affects Children & The Kids’ Bill of Rights!

Having gone through divorce ourselves, we understand that divorce is a very difficult and painful experience. Here at Jesse R. Mann, Attorney at Law office, we are here to support this painful process so you and your children can emerge to the other side safely. We truly care about you and your family, so as you go through it all, we are including this information so that you will be able to avoid many of the mistakes that some people have made.

The Kids’ Bill of Rights

1. Just because you’re mad at the other parent, don’t take it out on me!

2. Please don’t say mean things about the other parent to me! They are my parent, and I still love them!

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The Effects of Divorce on America

by Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. and Robert Rector
hat tip: Heritage Foundation

Each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents; moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18. Mounting evidence in social science journals demonstrates that the devastating physical, emotional, and financial effects that divorce is having on these children will last well into adulthood and affect future generations. Among these broad and damaging effects are the following:

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Divorce and Your Kids

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Banned in Ohio – Smoking around your Child?

by Carol L. Gasper, Attorney at Law, LLC

Sure cigarette smoking is still legal in the Buckeye State, but that does not mean you can count on lighting up when your child is near.

In Anderson v. Anderson, a southern Ohio appellate court recently upheld as valid a lower court’s order requiring parties in a custody dispute to prohibit smoking around a child. That seems like a pretty broad no-smoking order. Not only are the parents banned from smoking around the child, they are also required to keep others from smoking around the child.

More noteworthy is that the Court did not have any evidence to suggest that the child suffered any physical ailments because of exposure to cigarette smoke. Instead, the court took judicial notice of the “avalanche of authoritative scientific studies” which indicates that secondhand smoke causes disease and is a danger to all children.

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Important Legislation to Protect Victims of Domestic Violence and Stalking

Brief Summary of Major Provisions of HB 167 as Passed by the Ohio House of Representatives

Introduced on May 5, 2009 by Rep. Dennis Murray (D-Sandusky), HB 167 proposes important protections in the areas of employment and housing for victims of domestic violence and stalking. If HB 167 passes, Ohio would join at least 26 other states which provide similar protections in one or both areas. HB 167 passed the House including amendment language provided by the Ohio Chamber of Commerce on December 8, 2009 and is awaiting sponsor testimony before the Senate Judiciary Civil Justice Committee.

Below is a link to Representative Murray’s speech on the floor of the House that was the substance of his sponsor testimony in the Senate. (scroll to 1:30:40)


Video of Representative Murray’s floor speech (scroll to 1:30:40)

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